Thanksgiving is in two days. I decided that since I'm an adult, legally and all, I should be cooking my own Thanksgiving meal. Unfortunately, I don't own a home, I lack the means, and I have a family that is willing to cook for me anyway as they know that my cooking skills are somewhere between non-existent and deathly. I don't care though. I am cooking a Thanksgiving dinner in my own head. It is an imaginary dinner. It will be delicious. Here are some selections from the menu.
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| The appetizer. Some sort of delicious, pretty cupcake nonsense. |
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| The main dish is pumpkin waffles. As I've never had these.. I'm guessing they're delicious. Pumpkin waffles with cinnamon maple syrup. |
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| Dessert! This pretty treat! |
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| More dessert of scrumptiousness. |
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| I don't even know. But it looks yummy. :) |
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| Pumpkin-y pecan-y stuff! |
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| chocolate? yes. dessert. |
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| CINNAMON ROLL. A must-have at every Thanksgiving (or any meal. seriously.) |
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| I'm... not sure what this is. :) |
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| I think this is like a monkey bread thing-y. I'm game! |
And, of course, no Thanksgiving meal is ever, ever, complete without mashed potatoes. That's right. So, we're going to throw them in as a post-dessert-if-you-still-have-room-which-you-probably-don't kind of deal. Just for funsies. And if the guests are too full then I will put human-sized portions in plastic baggies for everyone to take home as a gift. Goodie bags of potatoes! :)
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| poe-tae-toes |
My family. That's the immediate fam and all other extended family members that pass my background check. The background check consists of whether or not I deem you crazy. That automatically eliminates most than half of the people that share my DNA.
My friends! Julie, Jenny, Alli, Jenna, Ethan, Alex, Mitch, Tanner, other, less attractive Tanner, Hannah, and, and. Oh. That's it. Well that's embarrassing.
And no Mackenzie Thanksgiving dinner is complete without homeless people! I'll grab some that were waiting in line at the soup kitchen. I'll choose three and it will be the three that smell the least like hobo. I may be kind but, come on, there's only so much I can do if you're going to rape my sniffer with your stench. Let's not be silly here.
Everyone will come dressed as turkeys and pilgrims, in pairs. And then we will pretend to brutally slaughter all of the turkeys to eat and watch the pilgrims get massacred by deadly diseases and cold winters like the real ones did. It'll be horrifically realistic and super, duper fun.
I'm excited.
I bet your Thanksgiving will be nowhere near as fabulously disgusting and amazing as my imaginary one will be. It's okay, that's how most things are. No one comes close to my awesomeness. ;)
Everyone will come dressed as turkeys and pilgrims, in pairs. And then we will pretend to brutally slaughter all of the turkeys to eat and watch the pilgrims get massacred by deadly diseases and cold winters like the real ones did. It'll be horrifically realistic and super, duper fun.
I'm excited.
I bet your Thanksgiving will be nowhere near as fabulously disgusting and amazing as my imaginary one will be. It's okay, that's how most things are. No one comes close to my awesomeness. ;)
