I have a friend. And before I approached him about it, he would constantly talk about his ex-girlfriend. But it wasn't that he was still hung up on her or anything, that I could have dealt it, no, it was quite the contrary. He held a lot of anger and resentment towards her. As a friend there was only so much I could hear about it before finally I told him to get over it. Let it go. Yeah, she was crazy and made you miserable or whatever but that was months ago. She's gone. It's beyond unhealthy for you to harbor those still. Now you're just making yourself miserable. He wasn't particularly happy that I gave him such a rude slap in the face, and I felt terrible, but I couldn't stand another second of it and seeing him do that to himself.
I realized something. I do that to myself sometimes. My father is quite the man. He's crazy and insanely judgmental. He emotionally hurt me a lot growing up. I try not to let him hurt me anymore but he still has a lot of sway over me. He's not really a good person. Due to that, and so many other things, I have a tendency to entertain feelings of hatred and anger towards him. Quite often.
I realized something else as well. For all of the times that I brood over how much I despise him and wish he would either stop being him or just get out of my life.. I love him. I love him very, very much. He's my Daddy. He and I have so many good memories. He taught me so many lessons. He was an example to me for better and worse. He loves me a ton. He wasn't the father figure in my life and certainly wasn't my best friend or anything.. I don't know what he was or is anymore. But he's my Daddy through and through. Every time I get angry at him I can't stay angry for long. I love him. He's not the best person, he's made a lot of extremely unfortunate choices and hurt me more than he will ever know, and I have every right to feel some small amount of resentment towards him but I love him. Even through the anger and pain, I love my Daddy to death.
