I'm scared of commitment because commitment leads to marriage. And marriage is not acceptable. Not now at least.
As awful as it is, that's part of why I have few qualms about dating Alex {not that we are dating.. but we totally are at the same time}. He's a premie, he's leaving. So I don't need to worry about getting too serious to the point of marriage.
I'm so anti-marriage. I don't think there's anyone out there that will really be able to handle me though. My mom always said that I'm crazy and never getting married. Joking or not I can't help but feel she's right. Besides, what if I wake up one day, like both my parents did {my Dad several times over} and realize that I made a huge mistake, I don't love this guy and we can't be happy together? I won't divorce. That's not an option for me. So I'll be miserable for the rest of my life. And I'm too young! I have so many things I want to do! No way in heck that I'm going to have a man tie me down! "Now that we're married it's time for you to quit school and work and become a little house-maker and pop out babies every other year." Ahem. No. Thank. You. I want to travel and live alone and do crazy things and make my own money and be independent!
When marriage comes...if it comes... it better be at least seven years down the road and be to the perfect guy and be quick and painless. Better yank that band-aid off fast.
