Woke up feeling unbelievably unmotivated for.. life. Everything. I went to the gym and felt no desire to do anything. Sure, I did it, but I didn't even take pride in it, I just felt so lame. It was crazy hard too. Cardio workout. IT. SUCKED. I rushed to math class afterward. Hair an absolute, frizzy, tangled, half-way blow-dried mess, and no makeup on. My entire math class consisted of me staring at the teacher in confusion and frustration because I was so lost and then panicking and stressing because I have a math test tomorrow that I am not prepared for.
That was from six to ten. Not a good start to a Thursday. Or any day for that matter. I was pretty ready to just feel like crap all day and whine about my problems.
And then, of course, someone else whines about their problems to me.
Okay, I'm having a crappy day too, so don't try to get sympathy from me about it. Wallow in your own misery, I'll wallow in mine. Misery might love company but I sure don't wanna play counselor to your sob story. I was really going to just explode, "okay, sorry you woke up in a bad mood. but so did I so stop talking to me."
I bit my tongue.
I can't decide whether I'm super anti-confrontational or super confrontational. I think I'm both and it just depends on who you are, our relationship, and what the problem is.
So, I didn't say what I was thinking. Instead, I did the "nice" person thing. I want to be a nice person so I'm trying out "nice" people things. It's a long shot but this was my daily attempt.
*deep breath*
"I'm so sorry, that really sucks. What can I do to make it better?"
Nice person attempt succeeded. I took said friend out to lunch and effectively cheered them up. I still felt stressed and overwhelmed and just wanted a freaking hug, gosh darn it, but it did feel good to help them.
My day did get better, so you know. I had some laughs with Tanner, we finished our physics homework for today, I {eventually}did my hair and makeup {I don't think men understand how much better women feel after being adequately prettied up for the day. Allllll the difference.}, I took an extremely disorienting though pleasant nap, went on a date with Alex, tried to light some oranges on fire, failed, and threw myself in the most massive pile of leaves I've seen to this day.
One full week of roller-coaster emotions, five or less hours of sleep every night, and an exhausted body from this "exercising" thing. And I still have to survive two more freaking weeks.. including.... finals.
Time to bring a sleeping bag to the library, cut off communication with any and all friends, and tear out my hair from stress.
I really just want to sleep and be selfish.
Listen to my problems. :(
