Saturday afternoon mom called and informed me that things weren't working out. I'd have to move.
Now, this is partially my fault. I had offered to move if we couldn't handle everything financially. I thought I was just being nice. Lesson learned.
This stupid deal had stressed the swear word out of me since then. Saturday I spent internally freaking out. Sunday I fasted and prayed and begged for strength. Today I tried to hold it all together {and then sweet Mitch asked me how things were and I might have broke down a little..} until I could get to the office of on-campus housing to figure everything out.
At three I went on my merry way. Every time I started to cry I'd take a sharp, deep breath and say "help me." Thankfully, the Lord helped me and I stayed calm and mature and cancelled my contract, found new housing in Wyview, got the contract, and signed up for a new meal plan. I move in on January 3rd. All in all it took about an hour, excluding the twenty minute walk, and now I'm set and ready to go.
Living in Helaman has been quite the learning experience. It's tried my patience and tolerance for absolute loneliness. I was looking for an out but still felt surprised and apprehensive when my complaints were answered with the opportunity to move. I mean.. I live here. I get it here. I know where everything is. I know how everything works. I have a great meal plan. It's a really ideal location. It's close. It's nice. Do I really want to move way out to Wyview? Is that really the answer to my problem?
I think we do that a lot. Like the story of the drowning man who asked God to be saved. A boat came and another and another, or something like that, but each time he'd say "oh no, I don't want your help, God's going to save me." Then he drowned, not realizing God was saving him through the boats. I think every human does that, no doubt. We fail to recognize God's hand in our lives.
I need to see that this is His answer to my prayer. His wisdom is greater than mine. I should put my apprehension and fears away. Everything will be alright. It's in His hands.
