They begin today. I have planned my schedule so that I will take one a day, at noon, with time to study in the morning and at night. I hadn't panicked about it until I woke up this morning. I casually rolled over in bed and then it hit me, I'm taking a final today. My eyes got big, heart started pumping, and I couldn't get back to sleep. I'm freaking out.
A friend shared this scripture with me, Doctrine and Covenants 38:30 "if ye are prepared ye shall not fear".
Well crap, I'm not prepared.
I'm a-fearin'.
Have you ever made a mistake that still haunts you? Regardless of how long ago it was, or insignificant, or forgiven it is? I feel like I can be forgiven but I can't let myself forget. Sometimes I'm just not sure if I've been forgiven and I let it torment me still. I often feel like all I ever do is make mistakes. They all begin with good intentions though.. I want a fresh start, to know that all my sins have been forgiven and can stop haunting me. I want to stop cringing at memories of all that I've done wrong. I want to stop being weighed down by my past.
I'm slowly and painfully learning.
I don't want to be the girl I once was. I don't want to repeat the mistakes I've made. I don't want to go back.
Onward ever; backward never.
