I promised no depressing posts so today's update will be only slightly depressing.
Holy freaking emotional roller coaster of a day.
It started out really exhausting. I worked out and just wanted to cut off my legs or something. Oh dang that hurt. 25 minutes on a treadmill doesn't sound like much but for the girl who is completely worn out after walking up one flight of stairs.. it was a lot. Afterward Julie and I went back to her dorm and she made me brunch! Yummy. :) When I went home I was dreading the math test I had to take at one but Alex was being super nice and sweet to me over text so it put me in such a crazy good mood. It was such a high that I cleaned, studied, and read my scriptures all in two hours!!! I felt awesome.
And then I took my test. If literally failing the test didn't bring me down, the phone call I got afterward did. My family has had really bad financial problems for some time now. There's a lot of story behind that but it's not necessary for this post. Basically, paying for my room and board is not possible anymore. It's too much. We can't handle it. This was so hard to hear. So I am moving out as soon as I can. Monetary problems have always hit me really hard, I'm terribly sensitive to that sort of stuff. That really just topped off my awesome week. I sat in the Wilk with my test-failing-pity food and cried {I was in a corner, no one saw me, relax}. Why has this week sucked this bad?! Sweet, sweet Alex came down as soon as I mentioned what had happened and he sat and listened to me cry about my crappy life for a good forty minutes. It was so sweet. We even made plans to hang out later, after the Temple Square trip. I asked if he would play a favorite song of mine for me on the piano. I was definitely looking forward to it.. he and Mitch are two people that I know I can always go to if I need cheering up. And heavens did I need it.
Temple Square trip! My ward met at 4 and we piled in buses. Alex's ward happened to be going at the same time so I was just going to endure the awful ride with my awful ward until I could be there with him, Ethan, Jake, and Chris. I had a seat all to myself on the bus. Perfect. I wouldn't talk to them, they wouldn't talk to me. Sweet. Well, until Ryan sat by me. Ryan used to be some random kid in my ward going on a mission to Frankfurt Germany but now he's one of the coolest, nicest, best conversationalist guys I've ever met and we're friends!!! We talked all the way {and all the way back}. So the ride wasn't terrible. :)
Got there, saw the movie, and hung out with the guys for a couple hours. It was fun. Those kids crack me up and Alex was being his silly-sweet self. He mentioned that since Jake and Chris were already here and all.. why don't they hang out with us too? ... *deep breath* sure. I can do that. See post below.
Ride back with Ryan was also nice until well... I saw it coming.. but the seats were too small.. I couldn't escape.. I couldn't fake narcolepsy no matter how hard I tried.. his mouth formed the words before I could fully express the grimace.. "what're you doing this Friday?" And curse my inability to be mean when a guy acts interested in me, "I'm not sure! But here's my number, text me later and I'll let you know." Frick. I really just wanted to be friends with this guy. Most importantly though, I don't ever want to go out with any guys from my ward! Ever! He's most definitely in my ward. So most definitely has a high probability of being a tool.
The rest of the night was supposed to go as follows: wait for Alex to get home, have him pick me up and then go hang out with the guys.
Again.. see below post.
It didn't turn out the way it was supposed to at all. After I said "just go without me" I didn't get a response for half an hour when he was all "oh, we're making decisions". This translates to me as, "well, we got here and since you ruined our plans to go to ppt we decided to hang out without you under the alias of 'making decisions'." Yes, that is reading too far into it but after slowly being pushed away with the whole deal I was ready to make all sorts ridiculous assumptions. I felt like I should have been the first person to have been called when they got home as it originally was my night. Maybe that was wrong. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe it doesn't matter because it's dead and gone and over now.
After a lot of anger on my part and refusal to take responsibility on his part the guys picked me up around eleven. In case you're wondering.. that's about two hours after I got home. Yes, I did wait for two hours. Should I have just said, "okay, rude. forget it." ? Probably. But I did get picked up and did have an enjoyable forty-five minutes with the guys. They're good people. :) Immature, inappropriate, and at times strange but.. I like them.
Now I'm here. Feeling drained and still upset, and a little depressed.
Tomorrow will be much better. I have to believe that.
