The time it takes to heal and the time it takes to stop loving a person are different things.
I'm over Collin.
I don't feel anything for him except the bitter pangs of friendship not returned.
In fact, I'm starting to feel something for someone else.
But, my heart.. my heart still hurts. Not always. In little bits and pieces. In nows and agains. Flashes of rage and pain consume my heart and mind every once in a while. Just enough to know that it hurt worse than anything and I'm still finding my strength to trust and love again. It's scary trying to trust people again. How do you trust after your world was proven to be a lie by the person you most thought would never lie to you? It was so messy. So messy. Seeing him after it all happened was the best thing for me. It gave me that closure I was aching for. But sometimes, even after a wound has been closed, it still throbs with pain. There's just a little scar now, three weeks later. Just a little scar of what was, what might have been, and what he did. It'll fade soon.
He cut deep but it didn't last long. I'm grateful that he ended it before it went on too long. That way it didn't take too long to move on. He did a lot of cowardly, dishonorable things. But I'm grateful for his eagerness to get out. It made the road clear for me to move past him.
The time it takes to heal is not over for me. The time its taken me to stop loving him is done.