I firmly believe that people like me need to take a break between relationships. My best friend Julie and I have very similar, yet very different, personalities. We both like to be in relationships {though we're scared of them} and get attached easily. I'm just so comfortable in that sort of companionship. I love it! So once I'm single again or done with a relationship, I want to find someone else to attach to right away. At least, that's my natural instinct. My heart longs to be back in that sort of companionship-thing. Now.. I have very little experience and probably no room to talk but I firmly believe that the heart needs to time to heal. Once you break up or lose someone you have to give yourself time to get back to yourself. If you rush into something the second you're done with something else he'll just be a rebound, and so will the next, and the next, and the next. That's fairly unhealthy, if you ask me. Even if they aren't rebounds, you sincerely like the person, you're setting yourself up for a never-ending cycle of dependence. I'm in the middle of that right now. After dating someone for any period of time I become somewhat dependent on them, or at least very accustomed to their presence in my life. Having that disappear, that stability and presence, it was shattering. It would be so easy, and it is so tempting, to just latch on to the next available guy to fill that void. That's not good though! You'll end up a crazy middle-aged teenager lacking the ability to care for herself. Coming out of a relationship you have to take time to find your independence again. I'm currently trying to find out how to live on my own two feet, without him in my life. I'm regaining my own foundation. It's hard. Today I did very poorly on my calculus test. All I wanted to do was call him and have him fix it, make it all better. He would pick me up when I fell and tell me it would be okay. I relied on him for that. Now that he's gone I can't need that any more. I have to rely on the Lord and myself. Julie and I have the type of personality that believes that it needs someone else to be happy. It's just not true though. And tempted as I am to get in another relationship purely for the companionship.. I can't. And I won't. I have to heal myself first. I need to regain my sense of individuality and independence before I can successfully try being with someone else again. I'm steering clear of the dating scene for another couple of months while I get back to my roots.
It's a lot harder than it sounds though. I'd rather take the easy route and get a new boyfriend to fill that empty while he's away, haha.
