 |
| This is Alex to me. :) |
We've had quite the relationship.
But if there's anything I've learned, it's that patience and compromise are worth it. No, it's not easy to be patient and no, it's not easy to compromise. Heck, I want what I want, I don't want to have to sacrifice that for anyone! Am I selfish for feeling that way? I think we all have that in us.
In the beginning, Alex kept telling me I'd have to compromise if I wanted this to work. We'd fight and I'd say, "you need to change. You need to do this. I am not budging." And he'd come back with, "this has to be two-sided. We need to compromise. If you want this you will have to make changes too." For a while I wasn't sure if it was worth it. I wasn't sure if that's how a real, working relationship was. I wasn't sure if I should find someone who would bend to my will completely or try to stick this out and "compromise".
It's pretty obvious which path I chose..
It was hard. I had to make a lot of changes and lower my ridiculously high expectations. I had to figure him out more so that I knew what to do and not do, how to handle things, and when to say things. Things have changed radically since the beginning of our relationship. That is not to say that either I or our relationship are perfect in any way. I am definitely still learning and developing, trying to make him happy while also getting what I want. It's tough on me, I've never been in the kind of situation where I really had to step down and take co-ownership.
You might be wondering if it's been worth the effort. I mean, what kind of a relationship is one that you have to work hard for?
A real one.
It absolutely has been worth it. Even if I don't end up with him in the long run, I have learned an invaluable lesson about compromise and change. I will never compromise to the point of being walked all over or pushed aside. And I will never change so much for someone that I lose myself. But if he's worth it, I will do my darndest to make sure we both pull our weight, both making allowances and changes for the other.
Life is about learning and growing and changing and becoming. And I happen to be right in the middle of it.
