Sometimes people just hurt you. That's all they do. From day one they just hurt and hurt. Even after you forcefully push them out of your life there's still a residue left over. That never-fading pain that makes you cringe and close your eyes in a desperate attempt to make it stop is still there. For the most part you can ignore it, forget that you had a past with them, that there was something, might have been something, but then they broke your heart. There are days though.. days where their name pops up on Facebook and you can't help but click it, even though you know what you're going to see. It's enticing, it draws you in. And when you do click on their name and see the pictures and the words all that pain resurfaces. It feels fresh and new. Like cutting open an old scar just to watch it bleed. It's not like you didn't see that coming, you've gone through this routine before. Yet every time you see how happy they are and where you used to fit in it's like the catalyst of pain all over again.
Of course, he was a douche bag and a player so really, I'm wayyy better off without him. :)
Maybe that's just how it is after you get played. It hurt pretty bad for me. I was seriously just his replacement girl until he could see his girlfriend again. Everyone told me he had just used me. He even stooped so low as to spread rumors about me, bragging to everyone of how he got the innocent naive little girl to fall for the guy who had no feelings for her at all. He did end up getting back to his girlfriend and they've been happily together since. Haha, who am I kidding, even during whatever we had. I fell for his act too. I thought he meant it when he said he liked me or wanted to be with me. I was just temporary though. I can only imagine what he tells people. What he told her about me.
This happened months ago and it is still a point of pain. Definitely better now though. At first I couldn't even see him without wanting to rip my heart out of my chest to show him what he had done to it. Now it's only on occasion. I'll see him on Facebook maybe once a month and relive those awful times. They seemed nice then..
I'm on to bigger and better things though.
Alex is sweet and good to me. He tries hard to make me happy and actually, genuinely cares. He's everything Taylor wasn't. Kind, sincere, cute, loving, honest, good. I took a giant step up with Alex.
That being said.. Taylor still pisses me off.
