And so it ends.

For those avid followers of my blog who were desperately wondering how my emotional state of mind ended up manifesting itself tonight, here's your answer.

Drum roll please.

...

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Tears!!! The lucky winner. Definitely better than ending in anger and fights but not nearly as desirable as hysterical laughter. 

It ends with me crying for several pathetic reasons.

• I'm insanely tired. Ugh.
• I'm extremely emotional. 

• Don't judge me, but I miss Alex and stuff, much as I hate to admit it. :p
• I'm stressed! Tomorrow I have a bunch of stuff to do before my flight and as sooooon as my flight lands I'll be moving homes and then most likely not sleeping because I have classes in the morning and I always stress over the first day of classes! My stomach is in a knot. I've been suppressing it, doing my best to just not think about it but now I have to prepare and holy crap I'm stressed.
• I may deny this in person, but I'm sad to be leaving my family. Yes, it's time to go back to my real life, and I can only handle so much of them anyways, but I'm comfortable here and I don't want to go back to real life where everything isn't always comfortable and things aren't always familiar and relaxed. Besides, I love my wacky, crazy family. They're my wacky, crazy family. When it comes right down to it, even with all the complaining and eye-rolling I do, I don't want to have to go quite yet.

This next semester, from Tuesday night on, will be unlike anything I've heretofore experienced. New house, new friends, new classes.. everything's gonna change again. Change is good. Change can help you heal and breathe and become but for heavens sake, it's scary! 

So, here I am. Ending my last night at home crying like the baby I am. I thought, why don't I just go cry to my Mom? Or text Alex and annoy the crap out of him? And I would love to do either of those, but, really, I want to talk to Mitch. I miss my best friend. He's such a good guy, I feel bad for ever taking him for granted. I almost feel like I use him sometimes, texting him or seeing him when I need someone's shoulder to cry on even though I'm never there for him. He's an amazing friend and I love him dearly. I'm gonna miss him this semester since we won't be living nearby or have any classes together. We'll see each other though, I will make sure of that!

Time to haul my sorry butt out of the pit of self-pity I've been wallowing in. Some sleep will do me good. For some reason I feel like rock-climbing would too. And a cute outfit. That always helps. ;)