May have just found a place to live next year! I think.
If I'm lucky this will work out.


I called my mommy just before I sent in the application because I was freaking out. It just didn't feel right! Isn't she supposed to tell me what to do or approve my choices or something?! I mean, my whole life I have been waiting to be an adult so she can stop controlling my decisions you know? But... this time I was scared and really wanted her to. I wanted her to tell me what I was supposed to do. On the phone I told her I didn't like this part of being an adult. She said, "yeah, that never goes away. you will always feel that way." That made me feel better.


I'm too young to be pretending to be old. This is tough stuff, man.


Speaking of living next year, I was talking to my Daddy about money. He had made the offer several times over the last few months that he would pay my security deposit and first/last months rent or whatever they wanted when I signed my contract. I think it's like $200. I called him tonight to gauge how serious he was and if I should actually rely on him or not {it's tricky business}. He said something that kind of made me take a step back. I mentioned that payment and said that Mom had said she'd take care of it but I was wondering if he would. Then he said, "your Mom has done so much. Let me handle this." Uh, wait. Did you just admit that she's done more than you?? Then he said, "I finally have money now. I have a job that earns this-and-this much a month. I can finally start helping you out Mackenzie."

.....

After years and years and years of not helping whatsoever and vehemently denying it... he just did. Then of course he qualified that jaw-dropping statement with something along the lines of all your Mom did was pay for freshman semester, I'll take care of the rest. Okayyy, nooo, she paid for.. um.. my life. My life and my freshman semester. But, hey, I'm still astounded that he would not only admit to not helping before but actually putting forth the effort to help! No, he's not turning a new leaf or anything. He's still a jack-hole and I still love his stupid guts, but he did the unthinkable and I am very amazed. Good job Daddy!! Thank you!