My life had no stability.

Life was an ocean and I floundered in it. I knew exactly where I was going. It was there in the distance. My future was there within reach if only I could swim out to it. Sinking. Swimming. Ever far from my goal.

And now. Life is an ocean that I have conquered. There is a boat beneath me that holds me safe and secure. There is no end goal, no destination that I cannot create or reach. All is in my grasp.

Life is mine. And I'm immersed in it.

I feel like I really know who I am now. And more than that like I'm comfortable with who that is. Confident. The emotional wreck that pervaded the rest of my being is gone. She's been replaced with a beautiful, confident, strong, happy young woman with all the love in the world to give.

Did you hear that? Beautiful. She feels, and is, beautiful. For the first time in her life.

All through high school I went on a handful of dates and seriously dated one guy. I always felt insecure, not good enough, judged. It seemed like guys (and girls) just looked at me and went "eh". And now... on Tuesday I went on two dates in one day, every day before that I had gone on at least one date, I've given out or taken numbers every single day, I flirt outrageously, get checked out allll the time, and guys are always looking at me and nudging their buddies to look at me too. Apparently I'm pretty.

Welcome to college.