Went out with my twenty three year old man tonight.
I was so sure I was over him.
Sometimes I absolutely despise emotions and feelings and attraction and love and all that crap.
Who am I kidding?
I always despise it.
We went bowling and had a blast, flirting like old friends. I sucked the first two games then dominated the last. I got a turkey on the tenth frame. How?! I usually suck! Haha, it was great. Then we drove around for an hour. Just talking and talking and talking. One of my favorite things to do with him. We eventually arrived at the house his parents are building that he's going to live in before they move. It's still being built so the lights aren't installed yet and we toured it in the dark.
I've fallen in love with a lot of things. But never a house. Never like that.
There were two rooms that really got me. The front room. You open the enormous front door and just beyond the entryway is a massively massive room with all glass windows at the opposite end and the most beautiful dark wood floors I've ever seen. The other room was the dining room. It was a long rectangle with a rounded end, where the floor to ceiling windows are. Like a rotunda. And the ceiling is like a rotunda too, complete with dark wood beams and rafters. Something out of a modern fairytale.
I laid down on the floor and fell in love.
Is it possible to describe a home as romantic? Because this house was. And it had nothing to do with the hot Englishman escorting me through it. Well, maybe a little. But in all honesty the only word that truly applies to this house is romantic! I am in love with this house!
He moved too quickly for me, I think that scared me off a lot.
I mean, our first kiss wasn't even a kiss. It was a hard core, straight up, make out session. That's really not okay with me normally! We moved so fast that within the next couple weeks he was talking about dating. That really pushed me away. I've still got the freshman mentality (as I should, I'm a freshman!) that I'm gonna date everyone and kiss a bunch of guys and have a lot of fun and not get committed!
But he's 23. And he does not have that mentality.
I did like him. At first. But there's too much that I don't like. Well, not that I don't like, just can't tolerate. He's too immature. Which is saying something since I've only ever fallen for immature and fun guys. He's far too physical. Always making innuendos or sexual jokes and making me uncomfortable. That and how he practically attacked me whenever we kissed/made out. It's like that's honestly all he wanted. And I don't appreciate that. But most of all I think I don't like him because even though when I'm with him I am really insanely attracted to him (mostly physical, for sure. He's a freaking babe. But also emotionally attracted), when I'm not around him I don't think of him at all.
At all.
There's nothing. I don't feel anything when I'm not with him. When he's there, different story. But if he's not then I really couldn't care less.
Friends with benefits maybe..? ;)
