December 16, 2013
Musings at 2 AM
It's finals week so screw it, I'm staying awake.
Okay, if someone is sitting alone in a large meeting (say, for instance, Relief Society), what do you do? Because most LDS women have the initial reaction of "I must fellowship!!!"
Let me reiterate my opinion on this because no one is hearing my cyber-pleas (the four of you who read this better be practicing this correctly).
IT IS OKAY TO SIT ALONE. Some people don't want to be talked to or sat with!! And that is OK! Some people are just that introverted! It stresses the CUH-RAP out of me when someone I do not know sits next to me and tries to talk. Holy goodness I hate it. At that point in time your attempt to "fellowship" has actually made me want to get up and leave.
That being said.
I know those kindhearted fellowshippers have no way of knowing which of those sitting alone are actually in need of fellowship or are (like myself) so introverted that sitting alone is more of a pleasant treat than a sign of depression. The fellowshippers have no way of knowing that. So I keep my annoyance to myself and try to appreciate their efforts and good intentions.
But, I find it extraordinarily painful and just plain rude when I get this response.
*me sitting alone*
*approached by another woman*
other woman: Oh you poor thing, sitting all alone! Do you mind if I sit with you so you're not by yourself??"
Ahem.
First of all, being alone is not bad, *blah blah blah* my usual tirade. Second, and more importantly, I do not appreciate your PITY. Your "poor-thing" attitude has made me feel like a complete loser on top of being stressed that you're invading my space. If you were attempting to fellowship by sitting with me you've totally lost your chance because you just insulted me by commenting on how alone I am. I like being alone, and I don't think it's bad, but when I get your condescending attitude about it - that makes me feel bad. Just like the way single people don't appreciate the whole "you're single?!? oh man, well we have got to change that you poor thing!" Yes, thank you for assuming I'm not okay and perfectly satisfied with the state I am in.
In other news. I forgot my sisters birthday yesterday. First time ever. In my defense I remembered at midnight, eleven her time. Soooo it was kinda still her birthday right?
Also, my Dad is nuts.
Mm, dress shopping is a pain. I didn't find that experience the least bit enjoyable. Except that I felt like a babe. Because let's face it, I have a great body and confidence in that, finally. I've worked hard to get to a point that I like the way I look. I'm happy with this figure of mine. But dress shopping still sucks.
Maaaaaan I should probably sleep :/ FINALS ARE SO LAME. SCHOOL IS SO LAME.
Night :)
December 7, 2013
Christmas-y time!
We (he) decorated my apartments tree tonight!
Photo one: He knocked the tree over with his belly.
Photo two: super seductive with those there beads.
Photo three: He thought his tattoo sleeve was awesome.
Photo four: I love this little cutie pie.
December 5, 2013
The going is getting tough
Today was.. Not enjoyable.
Today was one of the occasional days in which I desperately want to go home.
I always looked forward to leaving and the opportunity it brought to make a new person and a life for myself.
But today I really wanted to get away, leave all this behind, all of it, and get back to my roots.
Although my family drives me crazy (like every other family relationship anyone has ever had ever), they bring me back and remind me who I am - and who I don't want to be.
I would love to run away from the battles I face here and run run run all the way back home.
December 4, 2013
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